When you came to the station and saw an “old-timer” there, you knew there would be stories. Stories of how it used to be. Stories of fires long gone out. Stories of how firefighters used to do the work. Usually, these guys helped themselves to our coffee, and the coffee ran out long before the stories did.

Some of these stories seemed to go nowhere. But in the hands of a master storyteller, some became legends within our fire department. You know the ones: the stories we all told even though they happened years before some of us were even born.

As a chaplain, I love these stories, no matter how often I hear them. As a chaplain with a heart for first responders, I want to be aware of these stories and look for ways to make the most of them.

Why do we tell stories? Why are stories so woven into the fabric of who we are as people and so ingrained in the life of our culture as first responders? I suggest five reasons.

1. To be part of a common narrative

Stories shared within the fire service allow our first responders to share a common story. Even if we did not experience the event first-hand, we vicariously join our brothers and sisters in the story. In the story, we get to go to places we have not been. We join others in those times of life and death. This is important because it helps develop a sense of group; as they are not alone in their experience, we are not alone in ours.

When I, as a chaplain, participate in these stories, I, too, become part of the common narrative of the department.

2. To teach

Not all training happens at the academy or on the drill field. Any of us who have been in this field for long know that what happens in the field is rarely “textbook.” It may not always come across as teaching, but telling their stories is how many senior firefighters pass on knowledge and experience to the next generation. Methods and tactics have changed over the years, but many remain the same.

The same is true for chaplains. As a new chaplain, I learned much by listening to my senior chaplains. Listening to their stories helped me with future calls when I was the only chaplain on scene.

3. To speak to the heart and move the mind

Stories help inspire others to action. How many of us remember an older firefighter or police officer telling the stories that eventually motivated us to enter this field? When we tell stories to young people, we help inspire them to achieve greater things.

But there is a warning that must come with this. We see some of the most horrific things, and when we share these, especially with those who are young or new, we risk the real possibility of leaving them with vicarious trauma. Sometimes it’s a fine line. So, be aware of your audience.

4. To leave a legacy

Stories allow our retired firefighters to have a shared legacy beyond their careers or even their lifetimes. What better way can I honor these brave men and women as a chaplain than to listen to their stories?

5. To help us better understand our traumas and our joys

Finally, stories help us better understand what we have experienced. If you have ever been around someone in a really dangerous situation in the fire service, you know you will hear that story many times over the span of your friendship. Retelling the story allows us to process the trauma to find healing. You may notice over time that these stories change a little here or there. That’s okay. That helps the storyteller make sense of the trauma so it’s no longer violating their psyche and allows them to make sense of their world.

As a chaplain, I see such storytelling as a process of continued healing. Stephen Joseph, in his book, What Doesn’t Kill Us: The New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth, talks about how telling our story can help us come to understand the events that happened to us and lead us towards a path of healing:

“It is through storytelling that we ultimately make sense of our experiences, piece together what happened to us, assimilate information that is concordant without views of self and the world, and accommodate other information that is discordant--while at the same time rebuilding our worldview and our understanding of ourselves.”

In a world increasingly dependent on science and medicine, could we overlook one of the greatest tools for our healing… making sense of our own story in the light of adversity?

Application for Chaplains

Chaplains bring unique gifts to the healing process that don’t always show up in the fire or police department’s bottom line. In the midst of turmoil and confusion, we can help people better come to grips with the narrative of their lives, especially as it relates to their illness or trauma. As Joseph goes on to say, someone’s faith story reshapes who they are:

“Culture-driven stories shape how we all tell our own personal stories and influence our sense of what stories are legitimate to tell. Religion is a powerful force in this regard. And when trauma happens, the stories we tell have the potential to render our pain significant, and to give meaning to an otherwise meaningless experience.”

This can be a difficult task when we work with those of other faiths. Our experience doesn’t necessarily coincide with the faith or experience of the other person. This is where the ability to listen sympathetically comes in handy. But where we find some common ground and can speak into another’s life the truths of who they are in God’s eyes, we can help remind them of the narrative God is writing.

Retelling our story in light of our faith allows us to see our situation from a larger perspective. It buoys up our souls and allows us to view the trials from a different perspective as part of the story that God is writing. This narrative allows for the sin of man and the grace of God. It also allows us to make sense of the physical and emotional pain that we are going through. It is a story where there is pain, but God’s grace and forgiveness abound.

Here are five ideas for helping people with their stories.

1. Listen to their story.

People tell their stories repeatedly to help redefine the narrative until they feel comfortable with it, though some don’t seem to get there. If they continue to process the story without getting stuck, it is good to let them process it at their own speed.

2. As you actively listen, it’s okay to remind believers how God has worked in their lives.

Sometimes, it’s easier to focus on the story and forget that God is walking with you through it.

3. Help them understand that bad things happen to all of us.

As believers, we are not spared trauma, though we have some resources for making sense of it and finding comfort that others may not have.

4. Help them explore the meaning of their story.

Our life stories make more sense when we understand that they have a purpose.

5. Help them understand that the story will continue.

If appropriate, you may be able to remind them that God and others are there and will give them strength during this time.

One of the greatest honors one can give another person is to ask them about their story. And as it turns out, this can also be one of the most healing things you can do.