When I worked for a volunteer fire department I use to say that people should schedule their 911 calls at least two weeks in advance. That way I wouldn't be taken by surprise by those calls that happened in the middle of the night. I can tell you that when that pager went off at 2 in the morning at times there were a few groans coming from my side of the bed. It is only by the grace of God that the pager wasn't destroyed, especially on the 3rd or 4th call of the night. I knew I really didn't want to get up out of my warm bed to deal with anything, let alone anyone. I'm sure you know the feeling.

As a first responder and a person of faith I know that we are called to a life of service. But let's be real, when we are tired, and we really don’t want to go help people and we are not necessarily the most compassionate. Because of stress, wanting to be somewhere else, and lack of control we tend to be impatient, suspicious, and prone to complain. This isn't a good attitude for a first responder, and it certainly isn't a good attitude for a crisis response chaplain.

As a chaplain we choose to follow this calling. And yes, it is a calling as Chaplain Gina Hovis pointed out in her previous blog. We realize that this job is really all about God and others, not necessarily about ourselves. As a person of faith we are called to lay down our lives for others with the very real danger that we ourselves may experience compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma or even PTSD ourselves because of the nature of the calls we go on.

So, what is my attitude? What are the things that keep me from this calling?

I know for me there are three things that keep me from passionately following this ministry. They are lack of sleep, not feeling well and my devotion to clock time instead of God time. I know this only through lots of prayer and reflection (which I suggest for all chaplains). When I have to focus on the lower of Maslow's needs (such as sleep and health) in my life then I have a tough time with the higher needs (such as my spiritual life and the ministry that flows out of it). This may very well be different for you.

What do I need to do?

1. I need to embrace that interruptions are the job. As a crisis response chaplain I give up the right to dictate when and where ministry will happen. Because of that, I need to be prepared for being interrupted and learn to embrace it. I know that with my personality type the more I feel prepared the more I will find joy. And for me being over prepared is a strategy I sometimes use to cope with interruptions.

2. I need to find joy in being displaced. Sometimes I just need to be reminded of those who left comforts (such as Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and even Jesus) and know that sometimes being asked to go someplace one doesn't want to be is what it means to follow God. This reminder can only come by reading the scripture and letting the scripture read my very heart.

3. And finally, each time that pager goes off I need to remember that it is God Himself who is calling me to someone.