Six Ways a Chaplain Can Respond to Hostile People

As a chaplain, I have dealt with my share of hostile people. Sometimes, they expect a certain level of service from the EMS/police/fire responders and perceive they are not getting it. Maybe their loved one has just died, and they don’t understand why they can’t see them right away. I can explain it’s an active crime scene investigation, but they feel they have more important rights. I’m in their way, and they feel justified in venting their full range of hostilities on me.

This behavior goes beyond that of the “difficult people” I mentioned in my last blog. They act in a hostile and threatening manner. In a situation like this, the chaplain should take their safety and the safety of all those around them very seriously. I have found that when threatened beyond my ability to manage the situation, the best approach is to deflect and escape since we are not armed and sworn law enforcement officers (at least most of us aren’t). But what happens if you are cornered or have few options for escape? Here are some options.

1. Keep good situational awareness. Don’t let tunnel vision take over. Watch the angry person but also those around them. Always know your escape routes.

2. Acknowledge the problem with a cool, calm voice and make sure your body language doesn’t present as threatening. People want to be heard. They want you to understand their issues. Be curious about the person’s story. We, as chaplains, love to hear someone’s story.

3. Allow the person to vent uninterrupted in a private place. My rule of thumb is to let people express their emotions the way they want unless it threatens anyone, causes a medical emergency, causes more commotion with the other people on the scene, or interferes with the rescue or investigation. Sometimes, it takes thick skin on the part of the chaplain. Look for a quiet place where their behavior doesn’t interfere with rescue or investigation operations. This may or may not be possible every time.

4. Agree on what the problem is. Agreeing on the problem doesn’t mean agreeing on the solution; it just means understanding the person’s perceived problem.

5. Affirm what can be done. Try to come up with solutions and explain what can and can’t be done and why.

6. Assure follow-through. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you cannot accomplish a task, go back, if possible, and explain the situation. At least the person will know that you are trying to help and are looking out for their interest in the situation.

Safety First

Regarding hostile people, the number-one rule is always to ensure you are safe. There is no sense in getting yourself hurt or those around you. Watch for body language and tone of voice. That will tell you more about the person's state than what they are telling you…even though that is important too. And if you are out on the field on a call and don’t feel safe, don’t be afraid to get law enforcement backup. That is what they are there for.

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)